Working at the Paste office this week was a mixed bag for me. The week started off a little slow on Monday as it always does. As the week rolled on, I found my writing output increasing with better results each time. I was proud of myself as I peck away on my HP laptop sitting in my usual spot at the wooden desk. Everything seemed to be going well until I made a major faux – promising a feature without consulting the proper channels. Getting reprimanded for overstepping my bounds was the smallest I had felt in a while. I had it coming, and it was definitely a learning experience. But all work out as I got another feature out of this crazy situation and ended up with some good feedback on my work. Between this feature and my feature list posted on Monday, I had a great week as a writer.
Again the two-headed monster of self-sabotage and overstepping reared its ugly head this week at the Paste office. Just as I thought my ways were being subdued, I let my ego get in the way and make a huge promise I had no authority over. Being an intern, mistakes are going to happen, but this time, I really made a mess I thought was going to end my tenure with Paste. I haven’t received an angry email in quite some time. My self-doubt and overzealous nature have always been my worst enemies because of my people-pleasing nature. But looking at it with a little perspective, my subconscious has pushed me into some uncomfortable situations. I just let things happen without actively participating in trying to prevent it. I felt like my fears keep holding me back from doing and being my best. But I will conquer this demon as I continue to push all the negativity and darkness to the side for a more fruitful and exciting future. I know with time this will happen.